Tuesday, 9 October 2012

MPs demand 50% reservation for the corrupt

A group of MPs headed by someone who looked suspiciously like Suresh Kalmadi, has demanded that the government provide 50% reservation for the corrupt in Parliament.

"We will consider backing 33% reservation for women (in exchange for a small fee) only after government accedes to our request," said the bearded MP heading the group.

Some netas were shocked at this demand. One senior politician told Mocktale on condition of anonymity that the flipside of this bill could mean "the remaining 50% of Parliamentarians may actually be honest".

"This plan," he said "was a vile, abhorrent idea that should never be allowed. Imagine? Actual, honest politicians! What's next? Prime Ministers who speak?"

However, a number of other netas were in favour of the quota. In a voice choked with emotion, one MP said: "Are we not humans? Don't corrupt people breathe? I demand this reservation immediately in the interest of human rights and starving netas. And while we're at it, ban this CAG too."

Meanwhile, a former CM, Madhu Koda, has decided to provide tuitions in the art of money laundering and corruption. "It's a dying art and must be encouraged," he said. Apparently, one of the qualifications for entering the Koda School of Public Honesty is a Swiss bank account. Sources said there is a long waiting list.

A UPA spokesperson was heard saying: "What do you need reservation for? Don't we ensure a high percentage of corrupt in Parliament? Even our allies provide wholehearted support in this endeavour."

Some MPs and MLAs however, have decided to go on a fast demanding passage of the Mandatory Corrupt Simians In Parliament Act. The fast is sponsored by a popular burger brand which, in a cruel joke, has put up a banner in front of the fasting politicians asking "Hungry Kya?" Most fasting MPs, when asked this question, refused to comment. One conspiratorially whispered: "Of course, but for the money".

Meanwhile, a spokesperson for Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Politicians (SPCP) said: "Have mercy on these corrupt politicians. They were born ugly, forcing them to resort to other means to eke out a living. Look at some of the scams 2G, CWG, DLF. Yup. Ugly." 

Stories in Mocktale are works of fiction intended to bring a smile to your face. They bear no connection to events and characters in real life.

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